There is a difference between physical attraction and romantic love. While they can certainly be connected, that is separate from why or how we fall in love with a person. Sexual orientation is based on sexual desire toward people of particular genders.
What if it’s a lot simpler than that? Is it possible to fall in love with someone at odds with one’s sexual orientation? The short answer is yes. The thing about love and sexuality is that we spend a lot of time overthinking things. That’s a platitude that is easy to latch on to, but developing feelings, be they love or lust or like or some combination, are nuanced, to be sure. What does this mean? Am I bisexual? I feel like my entire identity has been turned upside down.
Now I’m confused about my sexuality, as I am starting to develop feelings for my female friend. She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.